Flee bad relationships, abuse survivor warns

March 16, 2021

Having survived two near-death experiences during an abusive five-year relationship, Jane* is now urging Jamaican women in similar situations to leave without hesitation.

Jane said some women fall in love with who they think the person could be and not the reality of who he really is. A single mother of two girls, she told THE STAR that she thinks abused women must take time to heal before looking for romance. Using her own experience, she said that after her first relationship ended, she sought comfort in the arms of a man who she thought would love and protect her. However it turned out to be the furthest thing from what she wanted.

"For five years, I was physically, emotionally and verbally assaulted. The first real scare happened one day during an argument. He started to attack me and beat mi up. Mi nearly end up running in a car because mi a try escape from him," she said. And on another occasion "he hit me in the back of my head with a board, I thought I was going to die that night." Jane reported the abuse but that did not deter him.

Kick mi dung

"One time mi go police station go make a report pon one incident and then carry the police dem a him yard but him never deh deh. By the time mi come back and go in my shop, a him that again start fight mi off in a mi shop. Him beat mi on the roadside in di rain and kick mi dung in di dirty water," she said.

Jane said that she reversed her decision to press charges because having had one failed relationship and wanting to emulate her parents' long union, she tried to have a 'real family unit'. But, in retrospect, Jane admitted her decision was a poor one.

"Honestly, when looking back, mi constantly ask myself why. Like, why mi did siddung in a dis for so long? Every time him abuse mi, mi find a different excuse fi stay," she said. Jane has advised women to avoid falling in love for the wrong reasons and to use up the avenues available to them to ensure their safety.

*name changed

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