Girlfriend says I’m too young to be her babyfather

Dear Pastor,

I am talking to this young woman, but our relationship is not going anywhere. She is 31 and I am 25. She has one son. I don't have any children, and I am asking her to have a child with me. But she said she pledged that she would not have another child with someone who is younger than herself. Her child's father is younger than her. After she had the baby, he started to call her 'old' because she was 10 years older than he when she had the child.

At one time, his mother went to look at the baby and told her son that the baby didn't look like him. So she told him to go. Now that the little boy is growing up, he is the spitting image of his father, and he is asking her to forgive him. I am prepared to take the child as my own. But since December, she started to go to a Sabbath church, and she wants me to go with her. I am a Sunday worshipper. Now we have two problems. One, she said I am too young, and now she is baptised in a Sabbath church. She said that even if she would overlook my age, she can't overlook the church she attends.

I grew up in the Church of God. Everybody for me goes to that church. Right now, the pastor of that church that I grew up in is my cousin, and he wouldn't want to see me leave. But I love this woman. We have sex sometimes, but I have to double the condoms and show her that, instead of one, I am using two. I want her to cooperate with me, but these two things are in the way, so give me your advice, please.

K.P.

Dear K.P.,

I hope you would accept what I am about to say. Leave this woman. End the relationship today, today. She wants to control you because she knows she is older than you. She expects you to listen to what she says, and your opinion doesn't mean much to her. Lots of women don't like to have younger guys as their husbands, until, of course, these women come to realise that they are on 'the shelf'. At that point, they are willing to grab any man - young, middle age or old.

This woman allowed a younger man to get her pregnant, and the relationship ended because of his stupidity. But you had nothing to do with that. And while she says that she made a mistake by going with a man who was younger, she got involved with another young man, which is you. And to compound the problem, she has become religious and is insisting that you should join her new church. She wants to rule you. She wants you to be a boy.

REMOVE YOURSELF

I hope you don't h ave anything personal against her church. There are many won derful people who are a part of that organisation, but your heart is not in that. So, you should 'take away yourself'.

I also want to let you know that it is unwise to use two condoms at the same time to have sex. You may think that by doing so it is safer, but it is not safer at all because by doubling the condoms it may cause friction, causing the two condoms rub against each other. And, by rubbing against each other, they may break.

You are a young man, and if you are careful and honestly seeking a wife, you will find one. So end the relationship with this woman. Do so now, and set your mind free.

Pastor