Think this man is lying to me

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old, and I am attending evening school. I dropped out of high school because I got pregnant. I don't know for sure who is the father.

My mother keeps the baby so that I can go back to school. I am not dunce. I catch on easily, but I started to fool around with different guys when I was in high school.

I had other friends who were doing the same thing, so I was following the crowd, and then we would talk about how many guys we went with and what we did.

In December 2017, I met a guy who told me that he lives in the US but that his folks are from Jamaica. When I met him, he was about to go back.

We talk to each other every day. I asked him who his relatives were in Jamaica, and he would not tell me. He said that was his secret and that when he comes back to Jamaica, he would tell me and introduce me to them.

He is 29. I asked him if he has children and he said he has one girl, but he and the mother broke up two years ago and since that time he hasn't had a girlfriend.

Do you think that a man can be without a woman for two years? He said he has not had sex since he broke up with his child's mother.

I asked him for some money and he sent it to me, but I am afraid to get close to him because I don't know if he is talking the truth. Why doesn't he want to tell me who his relatives are?

My parents are poor, and I would like to go away and send money to help them. I don't know what to do, so please, give me your fatherly advice.

R.L

Dear R.L.,

I hope that you will be able to determine who the father of your child is.

Some girls have had a number of tests with different men, in trying to ascertain the father and they all failed. So, I will not be surprised if you are reluctant to take that chance.

Perhaps you might be fortunate to get a man who would just accept your child as his and would not want you to be trying to find the biological father.

I hope that you would not get into that unfortunate situation again. The mistake you made must never be repeated, but I would beg you not to condemn yourself.

Now, let's talk about this man who is interested in you. This man is not saying much about his background.

He has not told you who his parents are and whether they are alive or dead. You don't know whether he has siblings here in Jamaica or whether they are abroad.

He is only interested in having this hot relationship with you. If you don't exercise sanctified common sense, you may end up pregnant again and he may disappear.

For example, how can you know that the name he is using is his real name?

You say that you asked him for financial assistance and he sent it for you, but even that does not determine that the name he used was real.

Someone reading this response may say Dr Dumas is putting bad things in this girl's head, but I am not doing so.

I am only trying to say that you should try and be more cautious about what you are doing and not allow your financial needs to get you into trouble with this man.

If this man truly loves you, he shouldn't put you into all that trouble to find out who he is; he should tell you the truth. So hear me out. Please don't ask this man for any more money.

Tell him that you don't know enough about him, so you are not prepared to continue this friendship unless he comes clean.

Tell him to send you a copy of his birth certificate and his driver's licence and the names of his siblings. If he fails to do so, end the relationship with him forthwith.

Pastor