Don’t like how my stepdad looks at me

Dear Pastor,

Good day to yourself and your staff. I am 16 years old and I am having a problem. I am living with my brother, mother and my mother's boyfriend.

My mother is 40 years old and her boyfriend is 35 years old. My brother and I do not like him. He is working as a driver, so he takes home the company's car.

He used to pick up my mother and bring her home, then he would leave. Then we noticed that he started to sleep with our mother.

We talked to our mother about it and she said that both of them have become friends. At the same time, my mother is always asking me to tell my father what she needs, and if he has it, he would give it to her.

This man is always watching me. If I am dressed and going out and I have to pass him, he would clear his throat and have something to say.

I can go and stay with my father because his wife and myself get along well, but I don't want to leave my mother and she wouldn't want me to leave either.

I told her to tell this man not to watch me because I am not his child. I don't have to take anything from him because my father supports me, and some of the money my father gives to my mother, he is eating dinner out of it.

Do you think I should tell my father about him? He is a big belly man and he has no manners.

R.A.

Dear R.A.,

You say your mother has t his new boyfriend and she is sleeping with him and he is always looking at you. That is the type of complaint that I get from many teenagers whose mothers are living with men who are not their children's fathers.

This man might be looking at you without any ulterior motive. Perhaps because you know that there are men who became sexually involved with their stepdaughters, you feel that he might have something in mind.

What I would suggest that you do is to inform your mother. Tell her that you have observed how much he looks at you. You should tell your mother that if he continues to give you the impression that he wants to have an affair with you, you would tell your father.

Your mother should try her best to protect you. You don't like this man, so you are likely to say negative things about him. But remember your mother has chosen to have a relationship with him.

She might be making a very big mistake, but that's her choice. In the meantime, make sure you have respect for him and that you do not dress in any way that would give the impression that you are not properly attired when this man is around.

I am not here giving the impression that this man has a right to lust after you by the way you dress. Even if you were in the nude in your house, he has no right to assault you.

Pastor