My twin sister is struggling to have kids

Dear Pastor,

I always read your column, but this is the first time I am writing to you. I am 26 years old and I have a twin sister. I got married one year before my sister. We are very close. When I met my husband, he told me that he had a cousin. He said that his cousin was looking for a wife, and he would like to give him my sister's number to call her. He was working in one of the islands.

I told my sister what he said, and asked whether she would agree to give him her number. She said she would be glad as she was wondering what she would do when I am married, because we used to talk to each other about everything, whether it was boyfriends or about money, everything. My husband, who was my boyfriend at the time, gave the guy my sister's number and they started to communicate.

He came to Jamaica and instead of them hitting it off, the guy started to hit on me. My boyfriend became very angry and asked him why he was showing interest in me. The friend told him that I am much more beautiful than my sister. I did not know that my sister observed that he was showing interest in me until one day we all went out for dinner, and the guy did something that upset my boyfriend. My boyfriend told him that I was taken, and he should show respect to my sister. He apologised.

He and my sister got married, and they have been trying to have a child, but nothing is happening. They have gone to many doctors. I have two children with my husband. My sister gets so depressed sometimes. She keeps asking me whether I think she made a mistake by marrying this man. I do not have the answer. So I am asking you whether you can give us the answer. She will be looking for it in THE STAR. Thank you, Pastor.

T.J.

Dear T.J.,

I am glad you got married to a man who truly loves you. I hope that your brother-in-law does not believe that he has married the wrong woman. When he met you, he admired you, and he probably said in his mind this is the woman he should marry. However, you were already gone, and he did not use common sense to accept the fact that you were already taken. He probably did some stupid things, but all men do some foolish things from time to time. Your sister forgave him.

Now, I am sorry that another problem has arisen. You have two children, but your sister has not been able to get pregnant. I don't think I need to tell you to have this matter checked out, because I am sure that she will spend lots of money on doctors. What I need to tell you is to encourage your sister to just wait on the Good Lord.

Some women get pregnant immediately after they are married. I have known couples who wait 10 or 12 years before they welcome their newborn. So while she may follow the advice of her doctors, she should try not to feel jealous of you. Make sure you continue to be a good sister to her. And I hope that her husband will not rush her and condemn her for not getting pregnant.

Pastor