My dad is cheating on his wife with my mom

June 14, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and my boyfriend is 21. I am living with my parents and I am a university student. My boyfriend is learning a trade. I love him very much. I have been loving him from I was 16.

He has never refused my pleas for help. He is very kind and my mother knows about him but I have not told my father about him. My father supports me very well but he did not marry my mother. But they are still very good friends.

My mother has decided that she is not going to leave my father. I came home from school two years ago and caught my mother and father in bed about 3 p.m. and my mother told me that my father came on to her and she could not resist him and that was the easiest way to get money from him. My father is putting me through university. Whenever he talks to me, he tells me that I should make sure that I don't shame him by getting pregnant. My father's wife does not talk to me. Whenever I call the house and ask for him, she tells me to call him on his cell phone. I asked my mother why she had to continue to have sex with my father and she said that, as long as he is alive, she will not get involved with another man.

I have two brothers and they are very close to my father. My father's wife knows that my father still visits my mother and my mother told me that he said, whenever she mentions it, he tells her that he has a right to visit his children. But Pastor, it is really my mother he is visiting. I cannot tell my mother what to do. I don't like the life she is living but I don't want to be rude to my mother. Please give me your advice.

C.

Dear C.,

First of all, I am happy to know that you are in university and that your father is paying for your education. I hope that you will do very well. You said that you have a boyfriend and you have not told him about your boyfriend, but your mother knows about him. I hope you will be very careful and not be careless.

Concerning your father, what is it that he really wants? He did not marry your mother. He married another woman, but he and your mother continue to have a sexual relationship. She has declared that she doesn't want another man as long as he is alive and she has some personal needs that she wants him to take care of. I do not think it is wise for you to tell your mother what to do.

You made it clear that you do not think it is right for your father to be cheating on his wife. But it is likely that your mother will curse you if you try to tell her that she has no shame. One of these days, your father may get tired of your mother and give her up totally. What you should try your best to do is focus on your school work and encourage your mother to go to church and to give up this type of life that she is living.

Pastor

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