My wife standing by rude stepson

June 15, 2021

Dear Pastor,

Pastor, I am 40 and I have been married for 10 years. My wife and I have two children together, but I took her with one son. The boy resembles me, so some people believe that he is my child.

My wife and I have two daughters together. I love her son just the same way as I love my daughters. Recently, he did something wrong and I corrected him, and he looked at me and said, 'You are not my father, so I don't have to listen to you'. I told my wife what he said. I was expecting her to put the boy in his place. But instead, she told me that whenever he does something wrong, I shouldn't try to correct him, I should leave that to her. I told her that cannot work in my house, and she said it has to work.

She does not know where his father is. We believe that he is living in the USA. When I took her with this boy, I promised her that I would support him and I have done so all these years. But if I can't correct this boy and engage in any form of discipline, how can I allow him to eat bread from my table? Why should I allow him to be rude to me while his mother does not seem to see anything to be wrong with it?

This boy is 15. I told him he should apologise to me, but she does not think that there is anything for him to apologise to me for.

Please tell me what you think about it.


Dear A.,

Your wife has lost her mind. She should know that this boy was out of order to declare that you shouldn't try to correct him because you are not his father. It is true that you are not his biological father, but you have been a father to him for the last 10 years. You have given him food and shelter, so respect is due to you. His mother is acting as a fool by telling you that you should leave the discipline of her son to her. She has to be crazy. I repeat, she has lost her mind.

A person in their right mind would not say that there is nothing for this young man to apologise for. Your wife is behaving as if she does not want her marriage. I suggest that you tell her that both of you should go for counselling, and this counselling session should take place soon, if your marriage is to be saved.


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