I think I am losing my mind

June 17, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am scared to death over what is currently happening in my life. Things really got out of hand in 2018 when I was bullied by my peers at university to the point where I failed my exams. That was really hard on me but I managed to pick myself up and keep going. I went back to university in 2019 to complete my degree. I passed my exams but the students, and sadly even the teachers, made it even worse for me to cope and they disgraced me. Still my hunger for success pushed me to continue. My mother did not want me in the house but I kept going. In 2020, I decided that I did not want to continue being abused and persecuted. When my peers and teachers persecuted me, I told my parents that I did not want to go back to school, but they threatened me. Then COVID came and that was my excuse to stop attending class. But something strange happened. I woke up one day and I was hearing strange voices. I went to Hellshire Beach and I felt deeply possessed as my head felt like it belonged to someone else. I didn't feel like myself. I started seeing red spots in other people's eyes. My back also felt heavy.

I was with some friends but there was something suspicious as I felt paranoid by everyone who was on my mind. But I thought that was impossible. However, that was just the beginning.

HEARING VOICES

I later started to hear voices and to see things and I had running belly. I heard what people were thinking and I started to see myself in them and my body was in other persons.

At nights, I could not sleep because I was hearing voices. I feel very possessed. My body felt as though I was having sex. My eyes felt as if I was blind and my mother was running me out of the house and she was telling me to go do oral sex and to become a prostitute. I know I could not do those things because I was a Christian. I asked the church for help. I hear voices in my head screaming at me during the day. I hear birds talking. My community told me I should die. My mother took me to a doctor and the doctor said that I am suffering from schizophrenia. I am still hearing voices. I have no one to help me. Every day I pray that God would take me because I am living in hell. My mother does not want me in her house. She said she is going to leave me and go abroad and live and I should think what I am going to do. I am going insane. How can you assist?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

After reading you letter I became convinced that you need psychiatric care, and that is what your mother realised. If indeed you went to see a psychiatrist, you should continue to follow the advice and take your medication. I am indeed concerned about you but God is able to heal you. I cannot say much more. I hope the church you attend would try to assist you. You may ask your mother to call me at 876-877-1009. I would like to talk to her about your condition. My prayers are with you.

Pastor

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