Convinced my nephew’s girlfriend stole my money

Dear Pastor,

I don't know if you can help me, but I need some advice. Somebody stole some money from me, and I suspect that it is my nephew's girlfriend. Both of them are living with me. My nephew would not steal from me, but I don't trust his girlfriend. She always wants more money. She is always in the bling-bling style. She got pregnant twice, but no baby is here to prove that she was ever pregnant. It is $22,000 that I saved and put away, and it just disappeared like that. She said she didn't take it.

I told my nephew that I suspected her, and he said that she is always searching his pocket for money. I told him I can't let her stay in my house, so he should find a place to put her, or both of them should leave. I really don't want him to leave, but I don't want her here.

She cursed me, and while she was cursing me, my nephew was present and he did not stop her. He does not pay rent, because I needed the company. He has been with me since he was 13 years old. I am now 70 years old, and I don't think it is fair for this young woman to inherit what I have when she doesn't have any respect for me.

Even if she did not take the money, pastor, do you think she should have classed me as an old woman who has gone senile? My nephew is here because I don't want to be alone. I have a daughter, who is living in Canada. She spoke to my nephew's girlfriend, and she said some of the things that I said she told me are not true, but she is going to leave my place. If my nephew doesn't leave her, he will never inherit anything I have, because I have a newer house that my daughter would get as she doesn't need this house that I am living in.

My nephew said that I should not blame her because I can't be sure that she is the one who took my money. If it is not this girl who took my money, and it is not my nephew, who did?

F.H.

Dear F.H.,

I am sorry to know that you have become unhappy in your own home. I cannot understand why anyone should think that you are wrong in asking who took your money. If you insist that it is the young woman who stole your money, then you are wrong to do so, because you have no proof.

You said your nephew would not take the money because he has been living with you since he was a child. You have confidence in him. On the other hand, you believe that it is his girlfriend who took the money because she is always in need of money. She never seems to have enough. It is natural, however, for her to react in a very negative way if you have accused her of stealing.

NASTY TONGUE

Of course, she is wrong and out of order to curse you, but I believe that you said certain things to her that you should not have said, and she has a nasty tongue.

Your nephew is weak. He could have told her to control herself. He could have taken her out of the house for a while until both of you cooled down. He should not have allowed her to be disrespectful to you.

Yes, you believe that somebody took your money, but are you sure that you are not making a mistake. Could it be that you put that money somewhere and don't remember where you placed it?

Before I go, let me ask you this question. Do you love your nephew's girlfriend? If you don't love her, it is likely that you are going to find faults in her, and you would not encourage your nephew to continue the relationship with her.

Be careful what you say or do. Perhaps you should get a family counsellor involved in this matter. Don't be in a hurry to turn away your nephew from your house. You are going to need him. He is more than a nephew to you. He is your son because he grew up with you.

I hope that he would be strong enough to tell his girlfriend to apologise to you for the things she said to you. I wish you well.

Pastor